Falling Back In Love
How to get passed the wall of heartbreak and fall back in love to the things you love.
Remember that awesome feeling of being in love? Remember what it felt like? Remember how you felt after heartbreak? The point? I’m talking to all the people who have experienced hurt, as I have. It is possible to fall back in love after break. You can feel that feeling once again. We all deserve to feel love again, to be in love again. If we want to fall back to love, we have to turn it into something not scary again. We have to look at love as a possibility and believe in it again. It’s about being able to give your heart to someone or something again. Falling back in love is about revisiting the things we used to love. Let’s do the things we love again, with the same love we felt before heartbreak.
Before Heartbreak
Before heartbreak, you may have loved love. You looked at your dreams and saw them with possibilities. At one point, you believed that nothing could stop you. You didn’t see a rhythm or reason for things, you just did it. You did things because you loved doing it. You saw the world with childlike eyes. This innocence can be towards romantic love or not. The fact is, love was the most dominant feeling for you and what you lead your life with. Love was the thing you’d fantasized about. The feeling you dreamed of feeling one day.
After Heartbreak
After you’ve been heartbroken or disappointed, you’ve started to build a wall around your heart. Now with all the beauty you saw the world before, you see it now with more reason and logic. It’s a defense mechanism, to avoid feeling pain again. You see the world with your mind instead of your heart. You’re now afraid of love… afraid to love.
Wall Of Heartbreak
Love is the fuel for all things, it’s the source (or should be the source) of everything we do. When we get hurt, we limit our capability of love in any capacity and in any way. When something or someone fails or disappoints us, we start to form a wall around our hearts. And with every failure or disappointment, we add more and more bricks to that wall. And with more bricks, the wall gets taller and taller. It makes it almost impossible for anything or anyone to get through to it. The wall can get so tall to the point where we become afraid of loving again. And when the opportunity comes to approach something with love, we don’t know exactly how to do it again. So your new way of love is going to flourish outside that wall. You won’t be able to love to the fullest and truest capacity that you can. It starts to block love from trickling down to all aspects of your life. You need to do everything with love. Love is ultimately what we need.
The great thing about love is that there always is another chance at it. Not only in romantic love but in every type of love out there! Whatever it is you are trying to give your love and heart back too, deserves all the love you can give it! Not only the little part that you are allowing yourself to share.
So whatever you do, you’re only doing it with the love your allowing to give, but not at the capacity that you can. You’ve limited yourself to the love you’ve given, which also means you’re limiting yourself to the love you receive. That love you’ve built outside your wall of pain is the one you’re releasing.
Romantic Love
What if the opportunity comes along for you to fall in love again? You want your heart to be completely available for that next person, it’s only fair to them. Our pain can come from a failed experience or many. Whichever the case may be for you, you should still give that new person a chance.
But then a question may come up:
“Why should I trust you with my heart? I’ve experienced heartbreak before, what makes you any different?”
Don’t worry, I thought the same thing. But you’re only giving that person a small part of your heart. That’s not going to make the relationship successful at all! Now, I’m not telling you to open your heart up right away to anyone. It’s going to be a selection process. You still want to protect your heart. Allow that new person to break down that wall, brick by brick but let it be someone you trust. You have to use your own judgment to choose.
Let Go Of That Pain
Is there anyone else out there who can’t go to a certain place, listen to a certain song? Can you not eat certain foods because it reminds you of that person? Well, it’s time to let that go. This is coming from the queen of nostalgia who looks at anything and attaches a certain memory to it. Well, I’ve realized along my path that I was tired of attaching emotions to everything. It was holding me back in life. I had always thought revisiting those memories would transport me back. But no, it was affecting my present more than I thought.
Looking back and reminiscing on everything, cuts yourself from opportunities for love. It’s going to be hard at first, but then you’ll realize how easier it becomes to let it go and how much you can let go of.
And I’m not saying that memories are bad here. You need to stop attaching love to those memories. Stop attaching longing to those memories, you can’t go back to the past anymore. You can remember the memory for its essence, but let go of the feelings behind it.
General Feeling Of Love
Stop Thinking Logically
Let’s step off the romance train for a second and go back to other things we love: hobbies and such. After hurt or a let down we tend to think with our brains instead of with our hearts. We do this as a form of protection for ourselves, trying to avoid getting hurt again. And that’s not a bad thing, but again it restricts and limits us to open up to anything again.
Like I said before, love is the fuel for everything. You can believe, you can have faith but if you don’t have love, whatever you’re trying to succeed at is going to fail. Love is fundamental for survival. Life can work with logic but the exciting and fulfilling part of life is to go through life with love.
“Love is the flame for belief. Your belief grows and fuels your faith.”
Imagine it like a hot air balloon
Your relationship, your passions in life deserve all your heart. Not what you’ve decided to expose it to, not what you’ve deemed as “safe enough”. The world deserves all your heart. Don’t be afraid of love. That’s what’s keeping you from believing in anything. It’s keeping you from believing that anything can happen and be successful.
But… Don’t Forget All You’ve Learned
I should have said this earlier but letting go and listening to your heart, doesn’t mean to forget. Don’t turn a blind eye to all you’ve learned, that’s a disservice to yourself. Don’t go back to being your naive self that you may have been. Bring that person who used to love love. Who used to believe in the world and bring them back with the knowledge that you have now. Kinda like time traveling if you will.
— — —
To fall back in love, you need to break down that wall of hurt you’ve built around your heart. You need to let go of that logical and broken side of you. Get back to that person that has never experienced heartbreak before. Don’t you want to go back to a time where you don’t think of a relationship as the most horrifying thing ever? It’s not supposed to be that way. When thinking about a next relationship, it shouldn’t make us anxious. We have to stop having such a sadistic view of love because it won’t get us anywhere.
So ask yourself what you need to do now. What are the things you need to get back to love again?
